Shared-Parenting Laws

[justashicken]

Those who are unfortunate enough to enter the family courts to do battle sadly enroute feed a manipulative machine. Polictical correctness rightly or wrongly errs to the mother. Once a Mother enters the legal system she is armed with a well oiled course of action/actions. Perhaps the Mother sets out with honourable intentions but our LEGAL system soon empowers her with venom beyond her wildest dreams. Many become intoxicated, thankfully not all and common sense and true love for the childs interests prevail.Most of us know of a parent that deserves the short stick in the family courtroom. The bully-boy husband or the sneaky wife. Yet too many times we hear of the injustices that fail to serve the children or parents. We have a thriving Legal system which sadly has over shadowed our Justice system. Judges solicitors and barriters should ease down of their lofty horses and serve the people better, afford them some dignity in their desperate times. Understand their REAL needs not win/loss knowledge bank banter for your after work drinkies session.

[Ekka]

Often the relationship with the children improves when the other party is not around, mine certainly has.

Also what can be done about the continual brainwashing by the the parent who spends most time with the kids and when you don't see your kids for a week and the first words coming out of the their mouths is "why did you rip mummy off" ... what about that?

[Kieronm302]

shewhoknows, how do you know she has no job prospects, how do you know she has no privacy? Why is he a controlfreak for wanting to have access to his child?

Unless you know these people personally then your speculating and have no basis to call the guy sick.

Many years ago, my wife left me (I didn't want this). At the time, upmost in consideration was the kids and everything was worked out amicably.
Later, she decided she wanted to move to England with the kids and I should move too, I didn't want to but under the rules back then, she could simply go. Is that whats best for my children? was she trying to control me?

As has been mentioned, the laws can't cater for every circumstance but I believe this change is for the better. If a partner (father or mother) used it for manipulation, then the courts should be involved to determine this.

[shewhoknows]

This law is a pathetic joke making virtual prisoners out of wives who have control freaks for husbands, it is not about the children.

Ex husband throws wife and child out, then demands she has to live in same town with no prospects of a job, privacy or a life, CONTROL FREAK, that is not about the child, he doesn't want her but he still wants to control her life and is using the child as a manipulative tool to bully and control his ex wife, sick sick man.

[twig]

Unfortunately Ekka i have allowed you to form an opinion without giving you all of the facts. I'm not going to give them all to you.

I've already slammed my father too much so far so I am not going to say any more against him, as much as I dislike what he is doing he is still my father and that deserves some respect.

With respect to the maintenance, I wasnt talking about having dad "fund" mum, there is more than one way to work that out, for example, instead of dad paying an fortnightly maintenance they could split the difference in his school fees and books.

Options like these, however, are not being explored by either party, instead there is just a bitter fight going on with my brother being the tug-of-war rope, which, just quietly are his words.

[Ekka]

Twig, "he walks out on her leaving her with nothing."

If that's the case we all know it's 50/50 so what may appear in the beginning is not the way it ends. Mum should then get a lawyer and some help, because even for a 50/50 shared custody case she will gett 50/50 of the assets (if there's any).

These things are important for readers to note, as a lot of mis-information and rhetoric will be taken as gospel.

Separation settlements are just that, can and should occur as close to separation as possible, divorce happens 12 months after separation, but the assets can be broken up and divided out straight away.

So that solves that issue, next issue is custody.

He has the right to see his 12 year old kid, that's the law. I see you conveniently also played the maintenance card, suggesting that he can afford to pay so should ... even if that means mum and the 12yo moving away. Wow, anyone else notice this trend.

Gee, I'd like to move away too, and have some-one fund it.

[twig]

I agree with loocy. I am a child from a marriage that has just broken down with two younger brothers, however being over 16, myself (23) and the my younger brother (21), we have the choice to have nothing to do with our father, however my youngest (12) brother does not.
To set the scene, mum and dad have just moved to another state because dad had a better job opportunity, so mum and my youngest brother went with him. After being there for less than 3 months he walks out on mum, leaving her with nothing, and is now forcing her to remain so that he can have his 50/50 custody.
Dad insists that he is doing this with the best interest of my youngest brother in mind, however, if he really had his best interest in mind I believe he should be doing everything he can to ensure mum is where she wants/feels she needs to be and making sure that they were secure and safe.
Since he is not doing this, and there is a lot more going on that I have not mentioned, I have lost all respect for him.
What he is doing is plain selfish and down right inconsiderate of anyone but himself, especially since having a 50/50 custody agreement means that he does not have to pay any maintenance, which he can afford to do and then provide more.
And I apologise if this post is hard to follow

[Ekka]

It's a dreadful situation when a man has to pay more maintenance the less he sees the kids.

So of course it is this womans interest to flee, get more money, obviously whilst he cannot visit.

Buffyblue: "And if the father of the child truly cares for the child's welfare I think he could show that by caring not only when the child is in his physical custody but when she is in the mothers physical custody also by providing proper accommodation for her and her mother to live in. Only fair given that the mothers job prospects in a small town are minimal."

I believe these matters are settled adequately when the property settlement goes through and Rudd throws all that money and subsidies to her, in fact many are better off not working thanks to the generosity of the welfare state ... while they bleed the working partners for more.

[loocy]

All this angst could be prevented if we did not adopt a he vs she or she vs he mentality and behaved like children and not vindictive grown ups.

When my partner and I split, the family court etc were kept out of it because we both agreed that our daughter was the most important person and we agreed on her staying with me during the week and spending as much time as she could with him over weekends if she chose right up until he died. she had the choice of whether she went to stay with her dad or not. The rules were the same in either household so she could not pit one of us against the other.

So often, both men and women play stupid nasty games and the kids are right there in the middle of it all. The damage done to them is immeasurable.

This is and should be about the rights of the children not the selfish wants of either parent. The child should and must have equal access to both parents and be given all the love and support they deserve.

[crapservice]

dusty_rusty_2000 - at the time my relative went to court he was advised by his barrister that standard procedure is that the family court only gives fathers every second weekend and he could go right ahead and spend roughly $40 000 in legal fees trying to get more but that he would have to prove the mother was on drugs or a prostitute to have even a remote chance of success. There were no mitigating circumstances on his part as admitted by the mother ie no abuse etc etc. We believe the mother may be suffering from post-natal psychosis which she admits and denies depending on her mood of the day, minute or second. She uses the child as a method of controlling the father and regularly denies even the measly legal access he has. If a father was to do this it is called kidnapping but when the mother does it you have to go through mountains of red tape and more court proceedings to try and enforce visitation.
I know he is only 1 person but the information his barrister has provided indicates it is a typical situation. Maybe he is wrong - but the statistics on rates of depression and suicide in fathers in this position indicate otherwise.

[shandy]

whether you like it or not, I have the right to give my opinion just like you and rusty, you also have the same right, so if you don't like my opinion then please go ahead and give yours, but don't call me ignorant, condescending or obtuse just because you don't agree with me, this is the whole idea when you debate, people have a different way of looking at things.

[buffyblue]

Shandy, read it once more. Perhaps means "possibly but not certainly". Are you being willfully obtuse or do you really not understand dusty's comment?

[shandy]

I read it again, you say "Perhaps he is the source of the problem which is why he has only been granted visitation rights". So I tell you again, you don't know anything about this person, so you're not only ignorant but condescending as well.

[dusty_rusty_2000]

shandy, read it again. I didn't accuse anyone of being a bad parent. I suggested that there might be two sides to the story.

You really have shown your ignorance yet again by saying I would make sure my daughter only sees her father every other weekend. Her father is an excellent parent and we are both on the same page when it comes to doing the best we can to raise happy, healthy children.

[shandy]

What makes you think that your comment is more intelligent then mine? In my opinion you're the ignorant one, "It's all about the kids" lucky for your ex that his daughter want to live with him, otherwise you would have made sure he only sees her every other weekend. Now you're accusing crapservice relative of being a bad parent, and you know nothing about this person. talk about stupid comment!